Shifting my Life and Mindset: I am a Software Engineer

Up until last year my career (and really most of my life) had been defined by my ability to be present for others. I was a mental health worker — helping others through crisis, teaching interpersonal skills and awareness, and teaching self regulation skills. I became good at it! My listening skills had to be top notch. Feeling and showing empathy towards a person I was working with, validating their pain and their struggle while also holding the necessary boundaries to keep myself and others safe was imperative. It was a tough balance to hold and of course, I didn’t always get it right. Much of the time it was intense stuff — palpable!

There came a time, however, a couple of years ago when I decided I wanted to shift away from that life. I had lived it for so long and I was ready for something refreshing — something that fed me and challenged me in new ways. I had chatted with a couple of friends about wanting to change careers, one of whom was a software engineer herself. After many discussions, a few months of studying in my spare time, and crunching the numbers I knew that not only could I do it, but that it would almost be silly not to! I also knew that in order to be successful at this significant pivot in life I was going to need to jump in with both feet. This meant making a long term plan, saving up the money, sourcing other funds, and going to school.

So that’s what I did!

Now, this is the part in the story where I pivoted. And not just pivot in the sense that I changed jobs or my major in college, but I changed careers. I was going from Mental Health, where I felt competent, helpful, intelligent, resourceful and quick on my feet in the face of crisis… to Software Engineering, where I felt novice and new. AND THIS is important because when someone pivots like this, two things happen.

One, there is a physical shift — such as in daily routine. Not too bad if you enjoy sprucing up your day to day!

And second, there is a mental shift (or at least, that is the goal).

And while the physical shift is sudden, the mental shift… t a k e s… t i m e… ugh, who has time for that (insert eye-roll here)!? Ha! Well, whether you (or I) like it or not that is just the way these things work!

So, what else helps with this… s l o w… m e n t a l… shift? The answer is patience and kindness (yep — empathy!) for oneself. And, while I’ve had many years of experience coaching others through this and learning to practice it myself, there’s never really an end point to it — it’s more of a life long practice. And when better to intentionally practice patience and kindness towards oneself then during a major life change!?

So, off to Turing School of Software and Design I went!

I spent the first 3 mods, or schooling terms (there were 4 in total at 6 weeks of each) learning Ruby, Rails, API’s, OOP and its foundational concepts — studying and building applications with peers while also trying to balance life outside of school. I remember thinking “I don’t know if I’m gonna get it.” “The people who seem to get it have previous experience with other frame works, design or just computers in general.” I also remember reminding myself, “don’t compare yourself to others… you are smart and capable of learning new things.” With that, I still struggled to think of myself as a software engineer, instead I thought of myself as a student who was learning software engineering.

I persevered, I asked questions, I listened to those I looked up to and kept learning what I could.

It wasn’t until my 4th and final mod when it finally clicked — not necessarily every concept or foundational component, but my mind set had shifted. I was a software engineer. I stopped thinking that a peer was more of a software engineer than I and started thinking, wow, they have a concept that I don’t — I can learn from them.

I finally felt I was capable of being given a task or goal to build something and able to complete it. Instead of feeling too overwhelmed I had the confidence in my developing abilities. I could break the goal down into manageable steps, both verbally and conceptually. I could look at each step, while also keeping in mind the larger, end goal. And I could build it — sometimes needing help or clarity on a piece or two. That, however, I’ve learned is part of it — part of being an effective, efficient and solid software engineer.

So there you have it ! Shifting one’s mindset can happen — with time and perseverance and kindness, patience and compassion for yourself through the process!

And, I was able to bring this newly shifted mindset into my final reflection meeting with my instructors, mentors, and those I looked up to at Turing as well as into each interview process!

“I am a software engineer… here is what I can do… and here is how I communicate about how to approach each problem!”